Sit Tight
(New Order – True Faith)

Sometimes your friends really surprise you. You start out with great hopes that they know better and that they’ll do what’s best for them. As time goes on and you watch them making the same mistakes over and over again, your faith dwindles and is on the brink. You don’t even bother correcting their errors or giving your opinion anymore. You convince yourself that they’re a lost cause.

Then one day you call them up and see how they’ve been doing and they tell you, "I’m very happy. Possibly the happiest I’ve been in the last 5 years. John and I broke up and I’m seeing someone new." That’s when you realize, it doesn’t matter how lost a person may be, eventually they will find their way. It may not be on your watch, but it will happen.

Why should it be on your watch anyway? It’s their life. Sometimes your own happiness is so dependent on someone else’s happiness it almost feels as though you’re living their life for them but without the control. Like a rollercoaster ride you never intended to get on -- you scream at all the unexpected twists and turns, but in the end, it’s never as bad as it seems.

For all my friends making horrible decisions, I have renewed faith that you’ll eventually make the right ones. Not the right ones for me, but the right ones for you. For the friends that have finally got their ship back on course, congratulations. I always hoped that you would and I was stupid for doubting you.

Everything Seiko
(Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan - Baby it's Cold Outside)

I got a nice little surprise this weekend. Sonia gave me a Seiko Kinetic watch for my belated Valentines Day / early birthday present. I’ve wanted this watch ever since I was in my mom’s womb. It’s a unique little watch that generates energy through the motion of your body. No replacement batteries ever needed!

So I started up the watch by excitedly dry humping Sonia’s leg for about 2 minutes. The kinetic motion wound up my clock real good, if you know what I mean ;)

Now what would have been over-the-top, slap-you-in-the-ass great, would be if I got the kinetic auto-relay. Not that I’m ungrateful or anything but here is a watch that will resynchronize to the proper time if by chance you stopped moving because you were in a coma for 10 years. I don’t know about you, but if I was in a coma for 10 years and I woke up, I’d want to know what time it was. Anyhow, the auto-relay is tres expensive and I don’t intend to be in a coma anytime soon so I’m more than happy with my watch!
...

Side thought...

I’d hate to be the first person to talk to a comatose patient after they woke up. I know what my breath smells like after one night of sleep. I can’t even imagine what that person’s breath would smell like. I’m sure his/her breath could stop time. Thankfully with a Seiko Kinetic, time can be restarted.

Seiko, if you’re listening – this would make a good commercial.
...

Keeping on the Seiko note...

Does anyone remember the Donny Wahlberg and Seiko duet from the 80s? I believe the song was called "The Right Combination". I love the 80s but this was a horrid song. Almost as bad as Tommy Paige's "I'll Be Your Everything"

Open Up My Eager Eyes
(The Killers - Mr. Brightside)

I’m lying in an empty field looking up at the sky and wondering if those thunder clouds are pushed by the winds of change.

Should I take cover? I’m short on time, can you wait a minute?

There are days where I can’t escape the memories etched into the synapses of my brain. There are also days where I can persuade myself to play none-the-wiser to the antics of my depression.

I wonder if tomorrow is really today disguised because all the days seem the same to me. How do I break free from this cycle?

I can outrun my haunts and the cynics in my mind but I can only run as far as my destiny will allow me.

Eventually everything comes full circle.

Happy Belated Valentines Everyone!

Gene's Hot Tub
(The Stills - Yesterday Never Tomorrows)

I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
...

Heredity is a funny thing -- it can be passed on from generation to generation and lie dormant without anyone ever knowing about it. I often sit here and think of how many dysfuntional traits I'm carrying in me right now that I might pass down to my future kids. What if one of my great, great grandfathers had a genetic disposition for compulsive nose-picking that I carry as a recessive gene? What if one of my great grandmothers had a fetish for being spanked? Will my kids inherit these traits? It's pretty much a crapshoot isn't it? I liken the whole hereditary experience to sharing a hot tub. You know there have been a lot of people in that hot tub and you know some of them didn't bathe before they got in, but you just hope that all the bad germs will be caught by the filter or killed by the chlorine and hot water before you step in.

FYI - I don't like being spanked.

Stand-Up Citizen
(The Stills - Love & Death)

I just thought of a joke...

What’s the difference between an aggressive woman and a passive-aggressive woman?

One will tear your clothes off in bed and the other one will think about tearing your clothes off and be bitter that you didn’t help her out.

Ok, it sounded funnier in my head. I'll just stick to my day job.
...

Hello iPod Shuffle!!...I got the 1 gig model for Sonia for her Valentines/Bday gift and she's loving it...I had a hard time letting it go when I gave it to her. The damn thing is about the weight of pen and the size of a pack of chewing gum. Apple is making a strong bid for comeback company if they keep this up!

My Shuffle is on order and will be arriving shortly next week. I know, I'm the prototypical consumer and Tyler Durden would be ashamed but I don't care, the iPod family rocks. Too bad I don't have the iPod mini to complete my collection.
...

I'm headed to Niagara-on-the-Lake this weekend with the little lady and we're going to celebrate Valentines Day. It's been almost 2 years now and I'm very lucky to have her. Happy Valentines Sonia!

Giddy With Life
(The Postal Service – Clark Gable)

I wanted so badly to believe that there is truth, that love is real.
And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd.
I know you’re wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear,
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?
...

More later, less now...the world is turning and you can't get caught up in this.

Happy Lunar New Year
(The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

We were lovers, we were kissers, we were holders of hands, we were make believers.
...

Happy Lunar New Year to everyone. The great thing about the starting of a new year is that we can start fresh if we’ve had a less than stellar previous year. It’s that sense of rebirth. That’s not to say, the previous year has been less than what I expected. In fact, the previous year has been the happiest I’ve been as far back as I can remember. Thanks to all the important people that had something to do with that. Here’s to another year, brighter than any we’ve seen in the past.
...

In the Buddhist tradition, on New Years Eve we all head down to the temple to pay our respects to Buddha and to get a tangerine/clementine from the lucky tree. The tree is usually a fake cherry blossom tree where they hang these clementines that have fortunes attached to them. These clementines are suppose to bring you luck for the entire year. Seeing as Asians are highly superstitious, this is probably the busiest time of year at the temples.

Last night my family and I drove to the temple to propagate this stereotype. It was quite the sight. The temple was decorated with bright lights and lanterns. Cars were double-parked, parked in handicapped spots, parked on curbs, parked in front of fire hydrants, all the way down the street. We walked up the stairs and placed our shoes outside (no shoes allowed in the temple). We paid our respect to Buddha with a few bows and some lit incense. Some people bowed on their knees, while others bowed standing up. It was all very orderly and civil. At least until the monks finished their ceremonies.

All hell broke loose as people pushed and shoved to get to the lucky clementine trees. At one point, my middle sister threatened to drop kick some girl because she was being a little bit pushy. When we finally got to the tree, all the clementines had been picked and the tree was empty. Usually when this happens the temple volunteers usually replenish the trees with fresh clementines. All we had to do was wait. Remember how I said Asian people were superstitious? They’re also impatient. People started breaking branches from the trees in hopes of taking home some luck. My mom was not impressed. If that were one of us breaking the tree branch, she would’ve used that branch to beat us to death.

After a little while, one of the volunteers finally made their way to the tree to replenish it with more fruit and I grabbed my clementine and left before I could get trampled to death.
...

At one point during the ceremonies I spotted this white guy in a kung-fu outfit in a crowd across the room. He must have thought it was a Shaolin temple and came to challenge one of the monks. Thoughts of Pei-Mei ripping Elle Driver’s eyes out in Kill Bill 2 danced through my head but that never happened. The guy actually seemed quite content with the ceremonies and getting his lucky tangerine. It’s always nice to see people opening their eyes to different cultures.
...

Enjoy the year everyone.

We All Live and Learn
(Nick Drake - One of These Things First)

So I just started reading Shampoo Planet last week, one of the few Coupland books I’ve yet to read, and I opened the book and saw his autograph. I had totally forgotten that I had met Doug last year and he had signed 3 or 4 books of mine. Just inside the front cover he wrote,

"Khiem,

Well, we all live and learn.

Douglas Coupland"

I sat and pondered for a minute, if this was just something he signed every time someone asks him to autograph this particular book, if this was a generic spur of the moment comment from an eccentric man, or if somehow he intuitively knew that I had made a few mistakes in my life. I really don’t know but somehow I’d like to imagine that Dougie knows and understands some of the things I’ve went through in years past.

It could also be that Dougie is trained in the art of writing horoscopes and likes to leave ambiguous messages that seem to apply to everyone. Everyone has lived and learned through adverse events in their lives. No one’s life has been perfect. The difference between you and I is the level of adversity we’ve had to endure. It would be great if we could actually track all of it and compare with each other to see who’s lived the tougher life.

"Man, last year was rough for me, I went through a terrible break-up with my girlfriend."

"Sorry, I think me having to pull the plug from the life support machine that was keeping my comatose girlfriend alive trumps your break-up."

Here’s a great idea for psychologists, create a mental health point system where everyone is assigned a value. The value is determined at an early age through some psychological tests. As we progress in life, we keep track of all the adverse events that have affected us. Depending on the adverse event and the value given to it, we subtract that value from our initial mental health value. Every year you report this value to your psychologist and he determines according to some predetermined scale whether you’re mentally healthy or on the verge of insanity. If you’re on the verge of insanity, you get to go away to a camp where they use some proven psychotherapy treatment for post-traumatic stress and you get to roast marshmallows around a campfire. They’ll have all those revolutionary treatments like shock, drug therapy and canoeing!

And when you come back you feel like a new person. You might even feel self-actualized. They redo some tests and give you a new mental health score and you’re sent back into society feeling happy again!

I'm rambling, I know.